Flirting and Pick-ups really have a wide range when you think about it. Everybody works in their own way…
Here is a new twist to a pickup line. My friend the other day was telling me about a phone conversation she had while at work. It was a normal call where she answered all the customers questions the best she could but in the end she had to transfer him to a different department. Just before transferring the call she heard the man say “you have a nice voice, you sound hot”…but before she had much time to really process what was happening she hit the button for the transfer…who knows…that could have been her true love on the line, and she transferred him to another department just like that.
When I was doing my undergrad work I had a roommate who thought it would be fun to put something creative on our answering machine, it went something like this…
“Hello, you have reached Jane and Jean (names changed to protect the stupid), we can’t come to the phone right now so please leave a message after the tone and we will get back to you as soon as we can…or, to get a hold of us sooner, here are some helpful numbers “The Chocolate Store” 555-0000 (while names may be slightly altered, actual names and numbers were given in our message, we looked them all up), “Hollywood Theatres” 555-6666, “Flowers Inc.” 555-8888 Or you can enter our hot lines hotline contest by leaving your best pickup line after the beep”
I think the only pickup line left was something along the lines of “is it hot or just you?”
So to add to the craziness that is the “pickup line” I thought I would ask some high school students for some of the best pick-up lines they have. Here are a few.
Can I borrow your number? I lost mine.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Her I am, what were your other two wishes?
Are you a parking ticket? because you have fine written all over you.
Is your last name Gillett? because you are the best a man can get
Are you from Tennessee? because you are the only ten I see.
Are your legs tired? because you have been running through my mind all day.
Is that the sun or are you just brightening up my day?
Did it hurt?...when you fell from heaven?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
So I think that many of these lines have been recycled from my high school days (which wasn’t really that long ago;). Any of them sound familiar to you? Did you actually use any of these in your younger days or perhaps have one used on you? Perhaps you are more of the pick up while on the phone-line type? So what is your style for picking up/being picked up? I would love to hear some new lines!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Stuck in the Middle…of the arm, and the hand, and of the arm again, and the other hand, and in the wrist…
Today I had to have some needles poked into me due to some tests I was having done. (see I Smell Bad…) To all you phlebotomists and medical professionals out there, here are some things patients usually don’t like to hear when you are coming at them with that long, pointy, metal object:
“wow, these are really small veins”
“where do they usually find one”
“I just can’t find anything”
“we will try this one”
“try pumping your hand a few times”
“maybe if I get this tourniquet a little tighter...”
“do they ever use the hand?”
"are you right handed or left handed?"
"do your veins normally roll?"
“I think there is one there, it is really deep though”
“ooh, I found one!” (followed by several (and I mean several) smacks on the wrist, while tourniquet was securely fastened of course)
“I know the wrist is the most painful spot but…”
“just one more try then we will go get someone else to try”
“so and so is really good at this”
“So and so has already left for the day…maybe if you just came back when he is here…”
In the end I was stuck a total of five times by two different people. It happened to be twice in the crook of the arm, once on each hand and finally in the wrist. I am confident that I will have some bruising due to the fact that they didn’t just stick the needle in and retreat, they stuck it in and then they moved all around as if looking for a vein on the other side.
“wow, these are really small veins”
“where do they usually find one”
“I just can’t find anything”
“we will try this one”
“try pumping your hand a few times”
“maybe if I get this tourniquet a little tighter...”
“do they ever use the hand?”
"are you right handed or left handed?"
"do your veins normally roll?"
“I think there is one there, it is really deep though”
“ooh, I found one!” (followed by several (and I mean several) smacks on the wrist, while tourniquet was securely fastened of course)
“I know the wrist is the most painful spot but…”
“just one more try then we will go get someone else to try”
“so and so is really good at this”
“So and so has already left for the day…maybe if you just came back when he is here…”
In the end I was stuck a total of five times by two different people. It happened to be twice in the crook of the arm, once on each hand and finally in the wrist. I am confident that I will have some bruising due to the fact that they didn’t just stick the needle in and retreat, they stuck it in and then they moved all around as if looking for a vein on the other side.
Monday, September 3, 2007
I Smell Bad...and Taste Bad Too
I have a problem that really stinks! So a few months ago I realized that my sense of smell had changed. Believe it or not it took me a while to realize just what had happened. At first I just thought I was smelling some random strong smells but then one day, as I was driving through farm country with a friend, I commented on the smell and she said “oh that is just farm country”. I have smelt farm country before and that is NOT what I was smelling.
At first I wasn’t worried, but eventually not just strong smells were off but most things I was smelling were off. Then it started to creep into my taste. It started with my toothpaste and crept into my Chapstick. Before I knew it everyday food was tasting worse and worse. I had to change my toothpaste and Chapstick, I would have changed my shampoo but after smelling everything in the store I realized they all smelled bad.
Wouldn’t you know it, in my time of frustration and confusion, all my friends came through for me and I came through for them too. I soon had made them all either medical experts or comedians.
It is not hard to imagine what jokes were made about my predicament (see opening line of this post). Suddenly I was told that I smell bad…and taste bad, how original, and from so many different people.
The real humor, however, is in the diagnosis I received from so many people. I won’t deny encouraging some of their comments, but really some of them were a little far fetched. Here are a few of them.
1. It is a busted capillary; I know it because my ferret had that problem.
2. It is your tonsils rotting.
3. It is epilepsy (actually from WebMD, so I guess it doesn’t qualify as a friend).
4. It is just a virus, there is nothing you can do about it, it will pass, and medication doesn’t help viruses.
5. Allergies
6. You may have a tumor
Well, I have been to various doctors and been on various medications, nothing has seemed to make a difference. I will soon be exploring suggestion #6; I am waiting for the phone call to schedule an appointment. In the meantime I am pretty much use to the smell although I still don’t like it. As for the taste, it has its ups and downs. The absolute worst taste has been red onions and sometimes pork. Chocolate is somewhere on the list of not the best tasting; the darker it is, the worse it is. I am beginning to wonder if this is what people who don’t like chocolate taste; if that is the case I can totally understand why they don’t like it. Which leads us to an interesting theory I heard about peoples’ taste in chocolate and their kissing abilities…but that is for another day.
At first I wasn’t worried, but eventually not just strong smells were off but most things I was smelling were off. Then it started to creep into my taste. It started with my toothpaste and crept into my Chapstick. Before I knew it everyday food was tasting worse and worse. I had to change my toothpaste and Chapstick, I would have changed my shampoo but after smelling everything in the store I realized they all smelled bad.
Wouldn’t you know it, in my time of frustration and confusion, all my friends came through for me and I came through for them too. I soon had made them all either medical experts or comedians.
It is not hard to imagine what jokes were made about my predicament (see opening line of this post). Suddenly I was told that I smell bad…and taste bad, how original, and from so many different people.
The real humor, however, is in the diagnosis I received from so many people. I won’t deny encouraging some of their comments, but really some of them were a little far fetched. Here are a few of them.
1. It is a busted capillary; I know it because my ferret had that problem.
2. It is your tonsils rotting.
3. It is epilepsy (actually from WebMD, so I guess it doesn’t qualify as a friend).
4. It is just a virus, there is nothing you can do about it, it will pass, and medication doesn’t help viruses.
5. Allergies
6. You may have a tumor
Well, I have been to various doctors and been on various medications, nothing has seemed to make a difference. I will soon be exploring suggestion #6; I am waiting for the phone call to schedule an appointment. In the meantime I am pretty much use to the smell although I still don’t like it. As for the taste, it has its ups and downs. The absolute worst taste has been red onions and sometimes pork. Chocolate is somewhere on the list of not the best tasting; the darker it is, the worse it is. I am beginning to wonder if this is what people who don’t like chocolate taste; if that is the case I can totally understand why they don’t like it. Which leads us to an interesting theory I heard about peoples’ taste in chocolate and their kissing abilities…but that is for another day.
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