Congratulations, you have just made it to my forward list!

I woke up this morning for whatever reason thinking about this e-mail I got that had about a hundred names in the “to” list (ok, maybe only 15 names). Really people, I do not have a lot of pet peeves, but this is one that I do have. Why do people have to list everyone for all to see? Haven’t you ever heard of bcc? It stands for blank carbon copy. It means you can list a hundred names and everyone who receives the message will not see everyone else’s names and e-mail address.

Needless to say when I woke up this morning I was very tempted to write a letter and send it in an e-mail to everyone who was on the list of people receiving the original e-mail. I had it all thought out and finally decided that it would probably be safer to put it in a blog. So if you are friends with Juan Ramon, you are lucky you are not receiving the following as an e-mail.

Congratulations, you have just made it to my forward list. I am so excited to have new friends I hardly know what to forward to you first. Perhaps some special angels spelled in parentheses and zeros that will answer all of your prayers if you in turn forward it to all that you have ever come in contact with.

Or maybe I can send you a list of cute things children say so that you will have something important to do with all the time you are not doing anything important.

Better yet, I am sure I can send you the cutest bears and babies and hearts and puppies and things that you have ever seen, don’t worry they will take up your whole allotted inbox for only as long as you choose to leave it there. Which I am sure you won’t be very long because you will be dying to read it and forward it on to 18-20 people to prove that you really are loved unlike those of us who only have you to forward it to.

Or perhaps you haven’t seen the children dressed randomly in red, white and blue to come together to form a very patriotic display you are sure to use on your next Christmas card, I know I will.

Don’t you just love forwards?!!!! Don’t you just love all the things you gain from not ignoring them?

What you don’t know who I am?! Well, I don’t know you either but you are now blessed by Juan Ramon* because he is apparently a common friend and has agreed to share your e-mail address with me when he sent out that last group e-mail. * The name here has been changed, not to protect the innocent but because I couldn’t decide whose guilty self should be listed first. Juan Ramon is actually the name used for Sam in the Spanish version of “Green Eggs and Ham”

To thank Juan Ramon, please put his name on the list of shame and forward it to everyone you know. Here I will start it; you just have to copy it into an e-mail.

Juan Ramon

When you receive it back (as you will if those you send it to you will send it back, if they really love you) then add any other names that you wish to curse to the list. Do not delete any other names listed, add a star to repeated names and forward it again to everyone you know. Do not break the chain if you get it. Keep adding names and keep sending it. If you keep it going, someday everyone in the world will be on it and you do not want to be responsible for single handedly breaking up the bond that could connect everyone upon the planet.

To unsubscribe to my forwards you must ignore them forever by opening a new e-mail account and never sharing your new address with the one who listed you in the list of persons to receive a mass e-mail in the first place.